Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Running Ahead

Today I did it again…I ran ahead of God. Attempting to solve a situation I thought was urgent, I jumped in and tried to fix it by myself. Now I sit here in a bigger mess than before. As I ran, I brought with me anxiety and fear because I didn’t stop long enough to lay them down at the foot of the cross. I didn’t go first to my Counselor and seek His godly advice; instead I leaned on my own understanding. I ran out ahead and now I find myself sitting here alone.

I’ve been here before, so I recognize where I am. I am in that place I always end up when my navigator is “self.” It is lonely here, and humbling, and the only wise thing to do is stop and drop to my knees, where I should have began in the first place. Now, not only do I need to give this thing to God, but I am giving it to Him with my guilty fingerprints all over it; my sad attempt to fix it.

I feel emotionally exhausted from the run, yet at rest in His presence. He takes this thing from me in exchange for His peace. As I kneel here before Him, I am amazed that I would ever even contemplate running ahead. Then I realize that perhaps in the midst of this situation, He has a lesson for me to learn that overshadows all the things in my life that need fixing. As I kneel here on my knees, I realize that in this position it is impossible to run. Not just hard, but impossible! Try it, it can’t be done! On my knees I am literally choosing to cripple “self” and humbly wait on Him.

It wasn’t long after I gave the thing over to Him that it was resolved. Just like that! He took it from me and fixed it. Leaving me wondering why I was fretting over it in the first place-and why I ran. It seems so small now in comparison to who He is. That is all He left me with…no worry, no guilt; just the reminder that He is bigger than any “thing” in my life.

The next time I feel the desire to jump-the-gun and run ahead, I hope I will find myself unable to do so because it hurts my knees! I have heard it said that the shortest distance between two points is - action. Perhaps there are times when this is true and appropriate, but I have learned as of late, that the shortest distance between two points is a prayer – for God is already there!

Just As I Am
By Charlotte Elliott/William B. Bradbury

Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me,
And that Thou bidd’st me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!

Just as I am, tho tossed about, With many a conflict, many a doubt,
Fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come! I come!

1 comment:

  1. Great post Charlotte! Thanks for participating in my GROW UP! Monday meme.

    Did I already tell you that I am beginning an Inspire writers group at our church Sun Hills in Eldo Hills? If you are interested let me know. I will email you the details.

    Hugs! Joanne


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